Matilda

A desire for Truth and Life has pulled me out into the world. People say they travel to experience the world, but in truth you’re experiencing yourself. I´ve been exploring the world through exploring Me, playing with the subtle changes of energy, of perception, of how it all affects my reality. Deep within I´ve always known the Nature of this experience – that it´s all me, All is One, but when shaking up the ordinary of everyday life and throwing yourself into the world, fully into yourself, something powerful happens. In the midst of the Unknown my intuition speaks louder than ever and it guides me in every way.

When I´m at my strongest and most confident, I´m always at my most humble and grateful too. When I know who I am I know who everyone is. I know them as Me, as the Infinite Potential of my Soul manifesting itself in form. This realisation makes me feel safe no matter where I am or who I´m with. All I meet is my own mirror image, so fearing it and resisting it is stupid.

Let me tell you about Roman. Roman is one of those rare persons who became best friends with life. He rode the waves of life without resistance – when there was food he ate, when there was music he danced. On Romans arm there is a tattoo which says “Matilda”. Matilda is a guardian ghost who takes care of the homeless, the wanderers, the outcasts. She will provide for you when you have nothing. Roman has very few belongings – compared to the average western person he has nothing. But he has something way more precious than material things; he has Matilda, and that is all he needs.

So many times on my journey I´ve experienced Matilda, her miraculous workings as events unfold in perfect synchronization. Especially at times when I´m completely open, in a new place, alone and without a plan, she will appear in the form of strangers that take care of me. She is my new friends, the cars I hitchhike with, the food I eat, the sun that shines on me and the water I swim in. You can call her Matilda. Or you can call it God.

Roman told me that he feels at home on the road, he feels safe and taken care of in the uncertainty the dawn brings with it as he travels towards unknown destinations. When he first arrived to Australia just after we´d met in Malaysia he felt confused, something was off. He had flipped a coin in Malaysia which had told him to stay, but he decided to get the flight to Perth. Roman doesn’t like going against the coin, yet there he was, sitting in a hostel in Perth, wondering if he had done the right thing. A band was playing live music, and as Roman questioned himself he was given an answer. The band started playing “Matilda” by Taro and then he knew he was safe – that She was present. So, he drank up all his money, had some nice food, and the next day he started hitchhiking penniless across Australia.

The mind believes firmly that in order to travel you need resources, both mental, like plans, and physical, like money. Thus it chases what it believes will give it security as if it´s going to last forever, when in fact it´s just a shadow of Life. I´ve seen my Self in all things around me – I know that the world I experience and I are intrinsically linked. The world dies and recreates itself every moment, forming itself from newness into newness. Instead of playing with the dead forms of an illusionary past I choose to let the fabric of Creation embrace me and show me how abundant it truly is when my ego stops limiting it. When standing on a distant road waiting for a car to carry me further, I know that Creation will shape itself perfectly into what I truly need – that Matilda will put on a mask and a show. I don’t desire or need accumulated stuff like people or money or plans to feel comfortable or safe because I know that Matilda will give me what I need and beyond. I find stability in the fleeting; I find eternity in the temporary. My life consists of brief meetings with people and places, and for me real freedom is in needing nothing but Life it self. I recognize the Eternal Source of All That Exists to be the Ultimate Creator of everything my mind seeks, and because of its eternal nature I can always count on it to manifest what will serve me the most.

I´m writing this from a hotel lounge at Hotel Rotana on the beach in Dubai. I´m sitting twenty-five floors above the ground and from the big windows I can see the ocean, restaurants and the human made islands of the Palm. My family and I have just eaten an amazing breakfast buffet, and I can order as many cappuccinos and teas as I would like. The sofa I´m sitting in is soft, just like the background music that´s playing. An abundance of luxury is surrounding me and it truly is materialistically night and day compared most of the places I´ve been for the past eight months. Still, I´ve always experienced abundance; my physical needs have always been taken care of and my internal life has thrived.

I gaze out of the windows. A thin layer of greyness is covering the sky and a gentle wind is making ripples in the sea. In other words: not really tanning weather. I order another cup of coffee and my lips form a smile. Gratefully sipping coffee in Dubai I savour the moment, and I can´t wait to see what Matilda has in store for me.

“I cannot tell you where you should look for me, because I live at the devotion of the wind and the sea,” – James Lancaster, captain and explorer for the East Indian Company.